Thursday, August 27, 2026

Sure Road To Discouragement

       The hardest, perhaps, of all suggestions to apply is that of recognizing a child's ability in terms of what he can do satisfying and helping him to feel adequate at that point. In other words, avoid goading a child to do better when he is already putting his best efforts into what he is doing. Exhorting Ann to do as well as older or even younger sister Edith may rob Ann of her feeling of security at home. All disciplinary treatment of children with reference to their reading needs careful examination. Taking away their books, saying, "You can't read this until you do better in arithmetic," may make a child reject both arithmetic and reading. A negative reaction may be the result if a child, eagerly at work on some special hobby, is denied working on the hobby as a means of goading him to improve his reading ability. Wouldn't it be hard on us adults if standard tests of our fitness for work were based on our ability to read music, drive a golf ball straight on a fairway full of hazards, or repair an electric sewing machine? We adults are sufficiently able to avoid such standard-setting hurdles. Yet, in "old meany" fashion we have delighted in, even bragged about, setting high often impossible standards for children. Then, to make matters worse, we have put pressure on children, urged them to live up to these expectations. The result may be the very opposite from what we seek; the child may become discouraged, fretful, lose interest, and finally say, "I don't want to read! I hate it." The wiser, safer, and more effective approach is for the parent and child to explore some new field together: such as looking at seed catalogs for interesting looking flowers, searching for the funniest comics, or looking at pictures in a mail-order-house catalog. The emphasis here should be placed on finding new or desirable things, not on learning to read. 
       The most common pressure periods occur during first grade, eighth grade, and senior year of high school. That is when many schools set up promotion hurdles or standards for boys and girls to meet in order to progress satisfactorily beyond them. It is especially regrettable that the largest number of penalized learners are the young, defenseless six year olds. What a bad beginning for their school careers! No wonder such school practices are now being set aside in many up-to-date schools. In such schools, children are aided to grow their best each year and are helped in reading and other aspects of learning whenever they need help; there is no fixed standard to meet for promotion into the next grade. In this way, they remain interested in schoolwork, feel encouraged, and are in a proper mood for working and learning. 
       If a school still places frustrating, even injurious pressures on children, parents should do all they can to encourage the victimized child. He needs to be recognized at home for some accomplishment of his, and he must be given an important place in family affairs. In this way, the edge is taken off his humiliation, and even if he may not remain totally unaffected, he can at least feel secure in his family relationships, and perhaps be helped back to a hopeful approach to school and the chance to continue to learn.

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